Posted on 19th May 2010 @ 3:13 PM

Believe it or not, I did not become an excellent sewer/patchworker/crocheter/crafting profesh overnight and suprisingly I am still not fantastic. But I do my darndest to 'look' like I know what I'm doing. Sometimes when Master Chris is explaining something to me I nod like I understand but in my head I can only hear 'Drop the Pilot' by Joan Armatrading.

When first starting out, there are many tricks and terms that the newby does not understand or thinks they do but later realises they most certainly do not. Here is my initial interpretation of a few crafting terms:

Skein: winter sport.

Worsted: the worst yarn you can buy.

Basting: job for the sunday roast.

Bias binding: surely a media term where one is bound by inaccuracy.

Broderie perse: huh?? I still don't know.

Rotary cutter: I learned this one good after not replacing the saftey cover.

Crazy patch: the area where the local hooligans hang out on a Saturday night.

In the ditch: Where the local hooligans end up at 3am after a bottle of cheap bourbon.

Darning foot: where did I put that bloody foot?

Fat quarter: that's all I ate - promise!!!

Fat sixteenth: ok, I ate the whole thing.

I am proud to say that I have come a little ways since I first started my lessons but don't ask me to pronounce skein!